I didn’t know I wanted to write a song about mental health. Until I started writing, and this is what I wanted to talk about. 100 days of songwriting (a website with gentle encouragement for consistent songwriting practice) has helped me stay with it to see what would happen, where it would go.

This song really shares some things from my mental health journey the past 5 years or so. I had a mental breakdown in 2021 and since then have been diagnosed with OCD and PTSD. The messages in this song are encouragements to those going through similar things, as well as helpful tidbits from my experience. As I learned about OCD, the image of a “stinky uncle” coming in and taking off his socks, and sitting in my living room easy chair was a really helpful visual. I couldn’t kick him out, I couldn’t make him be quiet, but I could choose to continue on with what I was doing and not allow him to ruin my day, week, life… (verse 2).

I think the pre-chorus was important to me because so many people talk about just not paying attention to the fear you feel, but the problem is that the fear is an alarm system going off in your mind and body. It’s no less real than what you’d feel if a bear was chasing you- it’s a different kind of “danger.” And it sucks!

“You’ll find answers inside of you” and “Courage” was a lot about the journey I had to go on to discover my internal strength. No one could feed me the right answers- I had to dig deep inside to find my way. It was only as I learned to talk to myself in encouraging ways, and stood up for myself internally that I started being able to find my footing. That’s not to say that external resources and people had no value- I benefitted greatly from others and other sources. But a big missing piece for me was the internal part- and that’s the part I really needed to develop.

And finally, my favorite line: “Those he’s not your favorite visitor, ask what fear came to say.” I had to learn to sit with fear and hear “him” out. Not freak out that he came, not shove him under the rug, but accept that fear had a message for me- and listening didn’t mean I was giving in to it or that I didn’t have faith- it meant I could step back and decide what to do with that message.

Here is what I came up with: (recording below)

Courage

Alarms go off, am I safe?

Usually I’m outta here, like the start of a race.

Today I pause, take a breath, turning ’round to face the foe that is all in my head.

It’s not less real- this fear I feel. It’s a diff’rent kind of danger I must face!

Chorus:

Courage facing the shadows!

Courage! You’ve got what it takes!

Though he’s not your favorite visitor, ask what fear came to say.

Dig deep inside and find courage! when you feel weakest.

Courage! You’ll find a way through.

Look for answers inside of you.

The darkness came. Didn’t knock. Settled in my living room and he took off his socks.

Perhaps he’ll go. Maybe not. Somehow I must live this day with my stomach in knots.

It’s not less real- this fear I feel. It’s a diff’rent kind of danger I must face!

Chorus

Hold on to hope. Take one step. Healing will come gradually, and not without help.

Accept your path. When its tough, do what lies within your power, and know it’s enough.

It’s not less real. This fear you feel. It’s a different kind of danger you must face!

Chorus

There are answers.

You’ll find answers inside of you!