Hello friends! Tonight I enjoyed finished “The Hitmaker Challenge” with Seth Mosely. He teaches principles of songwriting and then provides a backup track that you use as a jump-off point for writing a song. I decided to write a pop song, and really enjoyed a different approach to songwriting.
Here is “Open Eyes.”
I didn’t know I wanted to write a song about mental health. Until I started writing, and this is what I wanted to talk about. 100 days of songwriting (a website with gentle encouragement for consistent songwriting practice) has helped me stay with it to see what would happen, where it would go.
This song really shares some things from my mental health journey the past 5 years or so. I had a mental breakdown in 2021 and since then have been diagnosed with OCD and PTSD. The messages in this song are encouragements to those going through similar things, as well as helpful tidbits from my experience. As I learned about OCD, the image of a “stinky uncle” coming in and taking off his socks, and sitting in my living room easy chair was a really helpful visual. I couldn’t kick him out, I couldn’t make him be quiet, but I could choose to continue on with what I was doing and not allow him to ruin my day, week, life… (verse 2).
I think the pre-chorus was important to me because so many people talk about just not paying attention to the fear you feel, but the problem is that the fear is an alarm system going off in your mind and body. It’s no less real than what you’d feel if a bear was chasing you- it’s a different kind of “danger.” And it sucks!
“You’ll find answers inside of you” and “Courage” was a lot about the journey I had to go on to discover my internal strength. No one could feed me the right answers- I had to dig deep inside to find my way. It was only as I learned to talk to myself in encouraging ways, and stood up for myself internally that I started being able to find my footing. That’s not to say that external resources and people had no value- I benefitted greatly from others and other sources. But a big missing piece for me was the internal part- and that’s the part I really needed to develop.
And finally, my favorite line: “Those he’s not your favorite visitor, ask what fear came to say.” I had to learn to sit with fear and hear “him” out. Not freak out that he came, not shove him under the rug, but accept that fear had a message for me- and listening didn’t mean I was giving in to it or that I didn’t have faith- it meant I could step back and decide what to do with that message.
Here is what I came up with: (recording below)
Courage
Alarms go off, am I safe?
Usually I’m outta here, like the start of a race.
Today I pause, take a breath, turning ’round to face the foe that is all in my head.
It’s not less real- this fear I feel. It’s a diff’rent kind of danger I must face!
Chorus:
Courage facing the shadows!
Courage! You’ve got what it takes!
Though he’s not your favorite visitor, ask what fear came to say.
Dig deep inside and find courage! when you feel weakest.
Courage! You’ll find a way through.
Look for answers inside of you.
The darkness came. Didn’t knock. Settled in my living room and he took off his socks.
Perhaps he’ll go. Maybe not. Somehow I must live this day with my stomach in knots.
It’s not less real- this fear I feel. It’s a diff’rent kind of danger I must face!
Chorus
Hold on to hope. Take one step. Healing will come gradually, and not without help.
Accept your path. When its tough, do what lies within your power, and know it’s enough.
It’s not less real. This fear you feel. It’s a different kind of danger you must face!
Chorus
There are answers.
You’ll find answers inside of you!
Did you know that in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we believe that there’s a living prophet today- just like Moses, Noah, Abraham..? His name is Russell M Nelson. This is a picture of him. He just turned 100 years old! We will hear Him and the apostles of Jesus Christ that work with him, as well as other leaders of our church, speak to us this weekend. Will you join us?
These two quotes are from a previous General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (this conference happens 2 times a year and is available online for free!).
H B Roberts, quoted by Todd Christofferson: “The man who so walks in the light and wisdom and power of God, will at the last, by the very force of association, make the light and wisdom and power of God his own—weaving those bright rays into a chain divine, linking himself forever to God and God to him.
Todd Christofferson: “To consecrate is to set apart or dedicate something as sacred, devoted to holy purposes. True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives—that is, our time and choices—to God’s purposes. In so doing, we permit Him to raise us to our highest destiny.”
Both quotes can be found in this talk here:
This weekend we are gearing up for another spiritual feast as its conference time again!
Here is more information:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/feature/general-conference?lang=eng
Saturday and Sunday, multiple sessions, it’s going to be wonderful. First one starts at 9 Pacific time on Saturday. Join us!
Love,
Laura
This has been a wonderful weekend. It was Stake Conference weekend for us, so we had church meetings (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) gathering congregations from barely over the Canadian border to close to Spokane. There was one meeting last night and one this morning, both 2 hours long. I came away feeling that my soul had been nourished.
After those meetings (and a nap!) was a baptism. The girl who was baptised, Agnes, is in my primary class during the second part of church each week. More than that, our families have known each other for more than a decade and I’ve watched her grow up from being a newborn. She and I had a sweet connection when she was little- rocking her to sleep healed a part of me that I didn’t know needed healing. But that story is for another day.
One of the speakers at the baptism talked about this silly youtube video where a raccoon picks up a piece of cotton candy. Since Raccoons wash their food before eating, this raccoon washed the cotton candy and then looks perplexed because it has completely dissolved. He tries again, only to have the same thing happen!
Here is the video:
She then talked about how we can be washed clean from those sticky things in our lives because Jesus Christ in essence “dissolves” them when we repent. They are gone- and we can move forward. Isn’t that clever?!
That talk also reminded me of a line of a hymn that stood out to me last night in our church meeting. The hymn is “It is Well.” There is a verse that talks about what happens to our sins when we come to Christ: They’re “nailed to the cross and I bear them no more…” What a moving visual that is. I have thought about it in terms of sin, but today I felt differently about it as I contemplated other burdens I carry. They, too, are “nailed to the cross and I bear them no more” as I come to Christ.
I don’t think that means that we have to feel guilty if we carry a burden. The juxtaposition here is that sometimes we are called to carry a burden for a little while, and that’s part of our growing process- it’s part of what we came here to experience so we could grow and change. No matter how faith-filled we are. And even when we recognize that its time to move forward, letting our burden go and giving it to our Savior is a process- especially for big, challenging experiences in our lives. That’s all okay. It’s okay that it takes time to figure it out. We have a very patient Savior.
But I think there are times where tough experiences in our rearview mirror don’t need to burden us so much, and make it harder to move forward. For these situations, I think the hymn is so moving- for burdens of all sizes, shapes, and seriousness- “they are nailed to the cross and I bear them no more.” So much hope in one phrase.
Love,
Laura
Today I bent shingles. Lots of them. We calculated today, my youngest and I, how many hours we’ve put into this part of our house building project. 21 hours. Wowza. The two of us have taken on prepping shingles so that the older boys and my sweetheart can get those shingles on this big beautiful house and keep us dry all winter long. We are well into the roofing process but it’s a doozy. These shingles were supposed to be simple and easy and fast to install. Well…besides being none of those, they’re really great :).
Anyway, I’m bushed, but I wanted to share something quickly that made me stop for a minute.
I love this. It reminds me of a hymn we sing in church- the line that references “sorrows that the eye can’t see.” I wanted to pass it on to anyone that stumbles on my site. I do believe God, our Heavenly Father, is aware of us, our challenges and victories, thrills and tears, and everything in between. Those things that others can’t see- the hidden struggles- those can be especially difficult to carry. Here’s a reminder that you’re not alone. I am a witness that He sends angels our way- seen and unseen- to help us. Not just in the hardest times, but I think that’s when it’s most obvious to us.
Don’t forget to look for others who need encouragement and empathy this weekend. It’s so easy to get in our own heads and be so consumed with our own rollercoaster. But we feel so much better when we reach out. Be the person that makes someone feel just a little stronger, a little lighter, a little more loved.
Love,
Laura
MELODIES OF LIGHT 