Mother's Day – MELODIES OF LIGHT

I’m feeling very spoiled. I was presented with breakfast in bed when I woke up, and then at church my eldest son gave a talk and paid tribute to me as his mother- what more could a mom ask for? And THEN all the children and teens in our church congregation (including my 3 boys) stood and sung to all of us mothers. The tears flowed freely and my heart was and still is so full. The title was “More than Enough” and its been running through my head on repeat today. It’s gentle, encouraging, and pays tribute to all the heart and work that goes in to being a mother. I thought I’d jump on and share it here. (See link below)

This week I’ve been thinking about how true it is that a mother’s influence is immesureable- not just in a superlative sense as we pay tribute to our mothers, but in a very accurate sense. My mother began mothering me YEARS before I can even remember being on this planet. Spent time caring for me, loving me, teaching me, cleaning up after me, guiding me, protecting me…

My memories of younger years don’t necessarily include what my mom was doing, but as a mother myself, I can see her hand in almost every memory I have. I stumbled over a verse in scripture recently that said something like “He was in and through all things.” It was talking about Jesus Christ, but I can’t think of a phrase that is more true of mothering.

Memories of camping? Who helped you pack? Bought the camera you used (and everything else for that matter)? Listened to your stories when you got home?

Memories with siblings? Who helped you develop those relationships and taught you to be kind? Whose idea was it to do that activity in the first place? And organized the room you were playing in?

Memories of school? Who woke you up that morning? Greeted you when you arrived home? Prayed for you while you were away? Packed your lunch? Wrote you a note? Helped you with the homework?

Memories of worshipping God? Who prayed with you before you can remember? Who created moments of strengthening faith? Who read scripture to you and with you day after day? Who took you to church each week when it would have been so much easier to stay home? Who showed you what it looked like to live a life focused toward God?

Not one of us claim to be perfect- it far too big of a responsibility to do it all “right”- and that was never the point anyway. The older I get, the more I give gratitude to God that I get another day to practice being a Mother. And I know God is pleased with those efforts to love, care and nurture, no matter how imperfect those efforts feel.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mother who gave birth to me and is in and through my entire life.

Happy Mother’s Day to my Mother by marriage who has blessed my life in countless ways.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers out there – who are doing their best and tomorrow will get up and try again.

Love,

Laura

Yesterday I felt like I broke down some walls about motherhood. It was another big victory. I can see now that for a long time- years- there has been a lot of fear in regards to motherhood and music. And in both, I started functioning with not my full self. It wasn’t intentional. I think I got scared of my desires with music and was afraid that I couldn’t be a good mom and pursue this growing passion in me. I thought they threatened each other- and yet I wasn’t willing to give up either one. Well that’s not totally true: I knew that if one thing had to get the short end of the stick, it was music. I was in a “pleaser/don’t screw it up” mode often, and I was afraid that I was failing at it all. It turned out that being MYSELF is where the joy and peace were waiting all along. I was trying to mother the way I was supposed to (and music too) and couldn’t figure out why it was feeling like motherhood was literally going to kill me. I resented the cost- to my body and spirit- and knew something needed to change, but I didn’t know how.

I love these little people deeply, but I through the last several years, I have struggled to enjoy much of my mothering. Part of it has to do with poor health for a long time, but it’s not just that. Yesterday I tried to access more of my excitement about being a mom. I asked a lot of “what matters”? as my mind sifted through laundry and dishes and kisses, and bandaids. I have known for a while that I’ve been doing too much with too much stress, but as I have been looking for a new normal, I’ve been baffled as I tried to sort out what matters. As I journaled, I started having big ideas about how to change the way things are currently running in our home, and got very excited about a new program I wanted to establish. It was big, fresh, and dynamic, and I felt excited in a way I hadn’t in a while. But as I stepped back and looked at it, I wondered if perhaps I was missing something. I asked myself “Could the regular things be just as special if I am present and open? Maybe no sweeping changes are needed. Maybe I just need to uncover my love for mothering that has been buried in fear, and find the joy in the normal, everyday things. It was simple, it was pivotal, and most of all, it was peaceful. It was the heaven-sent message I have kept getting for about two years- “Slow Down.” The peace, the joy- it’s there and available in each moment.

You know what I discovered? As I continued to ask myself what mattered, I realized that every little thing I choose to do from my mother heart matters! A kiss, here, a note there, a bed made there…it matters because it’s an act of love from me to them. Big things, small things- all of them matter. They don’t have more value if I rush around and do more of them, and then I’m burnt out and frustrated. They matter as I give what I have to offer that only I can give- because it is coming from my mother heart.

Here’s my 3 takeaways about motherhood that I have learned through my thoughts this week:

1- Bring all of me to mothering. I will feel settled and peaceful mothering when I do it Laura’s way, and with all my quirks, passions, personality and love. MY love is what they need- and that is enough.

2- Each small and simple thing matters- not just to get it done, but because it is a holy offering from my mother heart. Often only God will know, and that is enough. It changes my heart more than anyone else’s.

3- My work, like the big cathedrals in Europe, will not be finished in my lifetime, so pacing is important. Each day I have some to give and also need to nurture and refill myself. Both are important. (Have you read, “The Invisible Woman: When Only God Sees”? A great read for Mother’s Day if you haven’t read it. The cathedral reference is an idea I got from that book).

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love

Laur

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